Remembering

Tomorrow is Sept. 11. I always have an unsettled feeling as we approach this date each year. I think that's good. It reminds me that we should never forget the tragedy that took place on this day 11 years ago.

I know I've talked before about how we were actually in Colorado on vacation when we saw the events of Sept. 11, 2001, unfold on live TV like the rest of the world. I don't know if I've ever felt entirely safe ever since. It made me scared and sad to think that humans could commit such atrocities against one another.

If I spend much time thinking or talking about it, I still feel scared and sad.

Each year the boys ask more questions about Sept. 11, especially Finn, our question-asker extraordinaire!

Each year I'm surprised at how I don't like to talk about it, and I wonder if my grandparents had the same feeling about Pearl Harbor.

My friend's brother-in-law was a fire fighter killed when the fire truck he rolled under for safety crushed him. I didn't know him, but I think of their family in these days leading up to Sept. 11 every year.

In the days, weeks, months, and even years following 9/11, I was obsessed with watching every bit of news coverage, every bit of analysis, every breakdown of every minute of that day on every channel. Ultimately, it made me so anxious and unhappy, I had to stop watching. Now I avoid those types of shows.

Instead, I'll take some time to think about the innocents who died, be grateful for what I have, and explain to the boys that there are just some things that can't be explained. Frankly, I hope it's something they never finally understand because they experienced it for themselves.