Apparently, when my children ask, each and every night, "What's for dessert?", I'm supposed to whip out a menu with a laundry list of options.
We have a rule about dessert in our house: don't ask about dessert until everyone is finished eating. Because without fail, the other kids who is still eating (it's Finn 99.9% of the time), will drop his fork, say he's finished, and want to know what's for dessert, too. This rule is hard for them to follow. Because let's face it, dessert is really exciting. Unless you live here.
A kid: "What can I eat for dessert?"
Me: "Well, there are some banana muffins, some vanilla ice cream, some sorbet (note: They're these sorbets in fruit halves that we bought at Costco. Totally delicious. . .and totally artifically flavored. Sigh. Won't be buying those again.), or you can have some fruit."
A kid: "Is that it?"
Me: "Yes, that's it. This isn't a restaurant you know." I'm annoyed. We go through this every night and I have to relive the insufficiences of my dessert offerings 365 days a year. "Or you could have nothing." I'm so mean.
A kid: "Do we have any cones for the ice cream?"
I wonder if I said no they'd launch into some Meg Ryan as Sally Albright-esque description of how they wanted their ice cream instead. . .
Sally: "But I'd like the pie heated and I don't want the ice cream on top, I want it on the side, and I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it, if not then no ice cream just whipped cream but only if it's real; if it's out of the can then nothing.
Waitress: Not even the pie?
Sally: No, I want the pie, but then not heated.
I think my kids are high maintenance dessert eaters.
How often do you have dessert at your house? Do you make a homemade dessert all the time? What do you offer? Because clearly I'm sub-par here.
I swear, next time they ask what's for dessert, I'm going to say flan, baked Alaska, and pineapple upside down cake and see how they react. Just kidding boys. Your choices are banana muffins, vanilla ice cream, sorbet or some fruit. It's deja vu all over again.
Tuesday and Wednesday we're off to Denver for bloodwork, an eye exam and an echo EKG--all for Finn. We're squeezing in a trip to the Museum of Nature and Science, which looks awesome, and staying at a hotel. We will be eating out. I wonder if they'll ask for dessert.