Last night I attended a presentation about the school district's gifted and talented program (don't you love it how I slip in wherever I can that one of my kids is gifted???). It was a 2 hour presentation that could have easily been a 1 hour presentation.
I was bored. I did consider leaving. I am, afterall, a grown up and I could have pretended I had somewhere else important to be. Like watching Biggest Loser. But I stayed (and I'm glad I did because some High Drama erupted--apparently people are very passionate about their gifted children, but that's a story for another time).
And then I started noticing how many times the presenters said the word "kiddo." Not kid, not child, not student, but kiddo. I find it a totally annoying word, especially since it was used so excessively during this presentation I was ready to stick a pencil in my eye.
So in true 7th grader fashion and just like I used to do when a really bad presenter would say "um" over and over again in a presentation and I would keep track, I started keeping track of how many times the presenters said kiddo. Keep in mind we were 20 minutes into the presentation before I started tracking, but the grand total was 17.
While I was sitting there apparently not paying attention to what was actually being said (I did take notes though), I started making a list of some of my pet peeve words. Most of these became annoying when I was in the corporate world and they were thrown about a conference room by people who thought they were important, but weren't.
A sampling:
Rubric
Actually, one of the presenters used this word last night. Seriously? Obviously, as the parent of a gifted student, I should know what this means. And I sort of do, but really, do we need to use Education Speak? Couldn't we just say "what they will be evaluated on?"
Craft
As in, "Let's craft a response to this crisis situation." You mean write? Develop? Craft? Come on. Craft is what my kids do on rainy days. Which, come to think of it, could be considered a crisis situation if it involves paint or glue.
Long pole in the tent
OK, I realize this is a phrase, not a word. The remainder are phrases, too. The vice president of marketing at a certain long distance company I used to work for loved this phrase. The fact that this guy was a totally incomptent idiot didn't help endear the phrase to me. According to some random Web site, “The long pole in the tent” is an expression used in military parlance to mean “the intractable part of a problem.” The editor of Aviation Week defines the term to be “the thing in a long list of tasks for a project that will… hold everything up” – in essence, the core of the problem. Again, why do we need this fancy phrase? Can't we just say, "The problem?"
Let's take this offline
Back in the days when the Internet was fairly new (you know, right after Al Gore invented it), this phrase was frequently heard being bandied about the conference table during meetings. Say an issue came up during the meeting and it needed to be addressed, but it didn't concern everyone at the meeting. It became a catchphrase to say, "Let's take this issue offline." What? For heaven's sake, can't you just say, "Let's talk about this later."? But this was the time when online and offline were new, cool words for the world and apparently we had to overuse them and sound like idiots.
One more and then I'll stop, because I could go on like this forever.
Get our arms around it
"We need to get our arms around the problem." Huh? Like you want to give the problem a big hug? Gag. I'm not a hugger. At least I wasn't until I met Eamonn's cousin, Theresa, and she hugs everyone all the time and it kind of rubbed off on me so I would describe myself as a semi-hugger now. But that's beside the point. The point is, why don't you just say, "We need to figure this problem out."?
No wonder they (and I'm referring to the mysterious "they" who is the expert in all matters of the world--when I quote something to Eamonn and use "they," he says, "Who is they?" And I wave my arm vaguely around and say, "You know, THEY.") say that English is the hardest language to learn. We're speaking in code.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
The Mercy Rule
I don't know what's up with me, but I've got no cooking mojo whatsoever lately. Meat has been dry and tough. Veggies limp. I plan great meals--and then they're horrible.
Tonight I had to invoke the mercy rule. I think I've told you about the mercy rule before: I cook a meal so hideous that no one has to actually consume it--they can choose something else instead.
Tonight's fiasco involved a crock pot chicken and rice dish. I found a blog (very likely via someone's blog who reads my blog) where this woman decided to cook in her crockpot every day for a year. In the fall and winter (and sometimes the spring and spring), I'm a slave to my crockpot. Yes, it's as far from raw cooking as you can possibly get, but it's a necessity. With sports practices occuring right during the dinner hour, I need a meal preparation method that can accomodate someone who needs to eat dinner at 4:15pm (hockey practice nights--and hello??? Was there an off season and I blinked and missed it???) or someone who is eating at 7pm (soccer practice nights). I also need the crockpot for days when we're out and about and I know that I won't want to cook when we get home.
Most of my crockpotting is successful. There has been a lot of experimentation (read: trial and error) over the years. FYI: Chicken thighs do well in the crockpot. Chicken breasts: Not so much. BBQ pork shoulder: A surefire hit. Mu Shu Chicken: Delish.
So today I tried this chicken and brown rice recipe and it was supposed to be like the chicken and rice bake I used to make in the old days before I knew white rice had no nutrition and Campbell's Cream of Whatever Soup was full of disturbing chemicals. So with this recipe, you make your own Cream of Whatever and pour it over rice in the crockpot, top it with spices, an onion, mushrooms and the chicken.
Voila. So easy sounding.
And it was easy. To prepare. But there were a few warning signs I ignored when choosing this recipe. First, it called for chicken breasts. Second, it used brown rice. Cooking brown rice at high altitude is, um, challenging. In fact, I only ever got it right after I discovered Alton Brown's Baked Rice . So anyway, I should have been on high alert when the recipe called for uncooked brown rice.
In the end, the result was dry chicken, and rice, some of which was cooked, some of which was not.
Now, I just went back and re-read the directions and I found my mistake--I didn't stir the rice and cream of whatever together. I didn't see that part and I thought I wasn't supposed to stir (which makes no sense, duh). Which reveals another problem--I tend to skim through recipes because I have the attention span of a gnat.
But that's another story.
So, because I've had good luck with some other recipes on that site, I'll try, try again. Both boys did actually taste it, but complained the chicken was dry (I'll have to turn the leftovers into chicken salad now). And bizarrely, Declan liked the rice.
Go figure.
I've got to get my act together. I'm using the crockpot again tomorrow. Fish in the crockpot--a first. But now I'm a little worried.
PS: If you get a chance, stop by and drop a word of encouragement to Jonathon and his mother They are neighbors of our old CaringBridge friends, the Hurleys. Jonathon is 4 and has been battling leukemia since he was just six months old. Their family is Hmong--so you can imagine being in a foreign country and battling a life threatening illness is a scary thing.
Tonight I had to invoke the mercy rule. I think I've told you about the mercy rule before: I cook a meal so hideous that no one has to actually consume it--they can choose something else instead.
Tonight's fiasco involved a crock pot chicken and rice dish. I found a blog (very likely via someone's blog who reads my blog) where this woman decided to cook in her crockpot every day for a year. In the fall and winter (and sometimes the spring and spring), I'm a slave to my crockpot. Yes, it's as far from raw cooking as you can possibly get, but it's a necessity. With sports practices occuring right during the dinner hour, I need a meal preparation method that can accomodate someone who needs to eat dinner at 4:15pm (hockey practice nights--and hello??? Was there an off season and I blinked and missed it???) or someone who is eating at 7pm (soccer practice nights). I also need the crockpot for days when we're out and about and I know that I won't want to cook when we get home.
Most of my crockpotting is successful. There has been a lot of experimentation (read: trial and error) over the years. FYI: Chicken thighs do well in the crockpot. Chicken breasts: Not so much. BBQ pork shoulder: A surefire hit. Mu Shu Chicken: Delish.
So today I tried this chicken and brown rice recipe and it was supposed to be like the chicken and rice bake I used to make in the old days before I knew white rice had no nutrition and Campbell's Cream of Whatever Soup was full of disturbing chemicals. So with this recipe, you make your own Cream of Whatever and pour it over rice in the crockpot, top it with spices, an onion, mushrooms and the chicken.
Voila. So easy sounding.
And it was easy. To prepare. But there were a few warning signs I ignored when choosing this recipe. First, it called for chicken breasts. Second, it used brown rice. Cooking brown rice at high altitude is, um, challenging. In fact, I only ever got it right after I discovered Alton Brown's Baked Rice . So anyway, I should have been on high alert when the recipe called for uncooked brown rice.
In the end, the result was dry chicken, and rice, some of which was cooked, some of which was not.
Now, I just went back and re-read the directions and I found my mistake--I didn't stir the rice and cream of whatever together. I didn't see that part and I thought I wasn't supposed to stir (which makes no sense, duh). Which reveals another problem--I tend to skim through recipes because I have the attention span of a gnat.
But that's another story.
So, because I've had good luck with some other recipes on that site, I'll try, try again. Both boys did actually taste it, but complained the chicken was dry (I'll have to turn the leftovers into chicken salad now). And bizarrely, Declan liked the rice.
Go figure.
I've got to get my act together. I'm using the crockpot again tomorrow. Fish in the crockpot--a first. But now I'm a little worried.
PS: If you get a chance, stop by and drop a word of encouragement to Jonathon and his mother They are neighbors of our old CaringBridge friends, the Hurleys. Jonathon is 4 and has been battling leukemia since he was just six months old. Their family is Hmong--so you can imagine being in a foreign country and battling a life threatening illness is a scary thing.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Date Night
Last night, Eamonn and I had a date night. Actually, it accidentally started as a date afternoon that stretched into a date night. It started as a date afternoon because we're procrastinators of the highest order (at least I am. I won't bring Eamonn down with my procrastination).
So last spring at the St. Baldrick's silent auction, Eamonn bid on, and won, a trail ride at the local dude ranch because he knows I love to ride. We had until September 30 to use the certificate. Around September 1, I pulled it out and panicked. We didn't have any free weeekends to use the certificate. That was a problem. And I hate letting certificates for things go unused. I'm cheap that way.
Fortunately, a friend came to our rescuse and said she'd take the boys right after school on a Friday and keep them for a sleepover so we could go on the trail ride and go out afterwards.
Spring and fall are great times to live in a resort town. All of the restaurants, spas, hotels, etc., run huge specials for the locals (OK, who are we kidding--it's so they stay in business during the off season and the only way locals will come out to play is with huge discounts). There had been an ad in the paper that Spago was running a special--all entrees $11. At Spago. Oh my word. I was going to get to eat at Spago once in my life.
So the plan was: trail ride, early movie, Spago or trail ride, Spago, later movie--however it might work best.
Problem. Everyone else wanted to eat at Spago once in their life, too, and they were totally booked. Oh well. A great sushi restaurant was having 50% off. Eamonn forewent a burger so I could have sushi.
Our new plan was: trail ride, early movie, sushi.
Trail ride. Check.
On to movie (the Informant), which was scheduled to start at 4:10pm. We arrived there in plenty of time. The movie was late starting. And still later. Finally, at 4:30pm I went out to see why the movie hadn't started. Turns out we, along with about eight other people, were sitting in the wrong theater because of some bad signage.
We were annoyed, so the theater said we could come back for the 7pm show. To kill some time, we went to look at a house Eamonn has been remodeling and we fed the people's fish since they were out of town. It was the biggest fish I've ever seen outside of a large body of water. I had nightmares about it. It was a mutant goldfish or something.
Then on to sushi were I ate so much I could barely move. At 50% off, I felt we could indulge.
And finally, to the movie, which was excellent, but it was so painful to watch this man self destruct by his own doing. Highly recommended.
So even with our big agenda, we were still home by 9pm. We're just crazy, I know.
That's the Sawatch Mountain range behind us. Photo kindly taken by our guide, Steve. Check out my horse, Gus. Possibly the most docile creature on the planet. I think he's actually asleep in this photo.
That is a mountain called Red and White behind us, apparently named because in the winter when it's all snowy and the sun is setting, the red rays make the mountain red and white.
And now, date night is over. Probably for another year.
So last spring at the St. Baldrick's silent auction, Eamonn bid on, and won, a trail ride at the local dude ranch because he knows I love to ride. We had until September 30 to use the certificate. Around September 1, I pulled it out and panicked. We didn't have any free weeekends to use the certificate. That was a problem. And I hate letting certificates for things go unused. I'm cheap that way.
Fortunately, a friend came to our rescuse and said she'd take the boys right after school on a Friday and keep them for a sleepover so we could go on the trail ride and go out afterwards.
Spring and fall are great times to live in a resort town. All of the restaurants, spas, hotels, etc., run huge specials for the locals (OK, who are we kidding--it's so they stay in business during the off season and the only way locals will come out to play is with huge discounts). There had been an ad in the paper that Spago was running a special--all entrees $11. At Spago. Oh my word. I was going to get to eat at Spago once in my life.
So the plan was: trail ride, early movie, Spago or trail ride, Spago, later movie--however it might work best.
Problem. Everyone else wanted to eat at Spago once in their life, too, and they were totally booked. Oh well. A great sushi restaurant was having 50% off. Eamonn forewent a burger so I could have sushi.
Our new plan was: trail ride, early movie, sushi.
Trail ride. Check.
On to movie (the Informant), which was scheduled to start at 4:10pm. We arrived there in plenty of time. The movie was late starting. And still later. Finally, at 4:30pm I went out to see why the movie hadn't started. Turns out we, along with about eight other people, were sitting in the wrong theater because of some bad signage.
We were annoyed, so the theater said we could come back for the 7pm show. To kill some time, we went to look at a house Eamonn has been remodeling and we fed the people's fish since they were out of town. It was the biggest fish I've ever seen outside of a large body of water. I had nightmares about it. It was a mutant goldfish or something.
Then on to sushi were I ate so much I could barely move. At 50% off, I felt we could indulge.
And finally, to the movie, which was excellent, but it was so painful to watch this man self destruct by his own doing. Highly recommended.
So even with our big agenda, we were still home by 9pm. We're just crazy, I know.
That's the Sawatch Mountain range behind us. Photo kindly taken by our guide, Steve. Check out my horse, Gus. Possibly the most docile creature on the planet. I think he's actually asleep in this photo.
That is a mountain called Red and White behind us, apparently named because in the winter when it's all snowy and the sun is setting, the red rays make the mountain red and white.
And now, date night is over. Probably for another year.
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