Again with the Cats

For long-time readers, you may remember that from a very young age, Declan was obsessed with getting a cat as a pet. Obsessed, I tell you. He asked ALL the time. I am not a huge cat fan. And to say that Eamonn isn't a huge cat fan would be an understatement. In fact, I think on our first date, a cat ran into the road and he swerved to try and hit it. Not good news for those of you who are cat lovers, I realize, but there you have it. It may also explain why his sisters lock their cats in a separate room when we visit.

Anyway, we didn't want to say to Declan, "No, you can't have a cat because WE HATE THEM." No, instead we made up, and have maintained to this day, an elaborate lie that Eamonn is allergic to cats. (I have a little twinge of guilt every time the boys and I are at someone's house and they have cats and the boys say, "Good thing Dad isn't here! His head would blow up!" The still truly believe, eight years later, that Eamonn is allergic to cats.)

But my point is that Declan, for some reason, so desperately wanted a cat. And over time, it has rubbed off on Finn, too.

One day during the summer of 2004, I was driving down Rt. 23 from our house to my Mom's in Worthington (this was when we still lived in Ohio and it is still so vivid in my mind). The boys were with me. Finn would have been about 22 months old, Declan just over 4 years old. And of course, Declan was dressed as Spider-Man.

Anyway, we were on Rt. 23, just in front of the Josephinum at a traffic light (if you're from that area, you know EXACTLY where I am), and all of the sudden, from the backseat, Declan asks, "Mommy, when Daddy dies, can we get a cat?"

I nearly drove off the road. I immediately called Eamonn and asked how he was feeling. It has been a hilarious story for all of these years.

Fast forward to modern times. The boys would still love a pet. And we don't have one, for various and sundry reasons. The chief reason we don't have a cat, is obvious. We don't have a dog because we are on the road about five months a year for hockey and who the heck is going to take care of the dog while we travel? We've been asked to buy all sorts of other creatures, but so far, we haven't taken the plunge.

So last week, I'm driving (shades of summer '04) and Finn says, "If we can't get a cat, could we get an ocelot?"

This gave me pause. What the hell is an ocelot? My first thought was that it's some sort of lizard, but somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I felt like I'd seen an ocelot...at the zoo. I didn't have Google to help me out, as I was behind to wheel of the car at the time (why, oh why, must they always ask for animals when I'm driving???). So I decided to probe for some answers.

Me: "Um, didn't we see an ocelot once at the zoo?"

Finn: "Yes! Do you remember?"

Me: "Well, not entirely, but I'm feeling like if an animal is at the zoo, it's unlikely to make a very good house pet. You know, because it has to be kept in a cage and all."

Finn: "But it's a cat. They are more like house cats than any other type of wild cat."

Me: "Wild being the key word here, I think."

Finn: "Darn.....can I get a corn snake?"

Sigh.

The Inside Joke

So the other day, Finn said to me, "Mom, will you tell me an inside joke?"

Hmmm, how to explain an inside joke to a 9-year old.

I tried.

"Well, an inside joke isn't a joke you tell like a knock-knock joke or something. It's more like something that happens between you and someone else, or maybe other people, that later only you understand. So then when you refer to it later, it's called an inside joke."

I thought I did a pretty good job.

Although as I was trying to explain the concept to him by using an example, which I can't even remember what it was, I was reminded that when you have an inside joke with someone else, it's usually not even that funny except to the people involved.

I gave Finn an example of an inside joke that has existed between Tara, Erin and I since were young -- probably elementary/middle school age. It involved eating brownies on our boat in Lake Cumberland. To this day, when one of us says, "Brownie" to the others, we totally get the reference and laugh.

I told my story.

Finn did not laugh.

Instead, he gave me a blank stare.

A few minutes later, he said, "So are you going to tell me an inside joke?"

Apparently not.

Doctor...or Metallurgist?

If I had any future thoughts that Finn might be a doctor when he grows up, those thoughts are now gone.

The Scene: Right after school...

Finn: I can't eat a snack right now. I'm disturbed.

Me: What has you disturbed?

Finn: In school we were discussing ant...ant...antimy...and it's all about inside your ear.

Me: What?

Finn: You know, ant....ant....A - N - T - I - M - O - N - Y. We talked about our hearts.

Me: Antimony? What does that have to do with your inner ear and heart? And why is it disturbing?

Finn: It was just gross.

Me: OK. (totally mystified as to why one of the chemical elements is disturbing and what it has to do with body parts)

Finn: (Unpacking his backpack and finding the papers from class today) OK, here's the word. A - N - A - T - O - M - Y.

Me: That's pronounced a-nat-o-me and it's the study of the human body! No wonder you were talking about ears and hearts!

Finn: Still gross.

Can't wait until he gets to sex ed.

Music for the Masses

When we have to go to Denver, like today, I love listening to this "oldies" station, 105.1 FM. I put that in quotes because I can't bear the thought/truth that they're playing 80s music on that "oldies" station. Sigh.

Anyway, we're motoring along and I pretty much know every single song that comes on there. I'm famous for knowing a few words to just about every song ever. They're not always the right words, but whatever.

So there I was, belting out the lyrics to "Magic" by Pilot, when I realized, I had a little choir singing right along with me.

What the heck? How did they know that song? Once at an event at the boys' school, the DJ played it and said he'd give a free hot dog to the person who knew who sang it. I sent Declan right over with the answer (because I love hot dogs almost as much as I love being right). He said the band was "Chilot"--WTF???--clearly he was having trouble hearing me in front of the blaring speakers, but the DJ gave Declan the free hot dog anyway. Which Declan then ate before returning to me. Again: WTF?

But there was no way he would know all of those lyrics from hearing the song once two years ago.

Turns out, "Magic" was used in the second Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie, which we own because my friend Rachael is in it so we've watched it at least 100 times. At least. And that's how they know it.

Over the course of the drive today, we were all singing together on tracks by Bon Jovi, Elton John, AC/DC, the Beatles, and there may have been some Queen in there for good measure.

What does crack me up is when they hear an "old" song and say something like "Hey, I thought Flo-Rida sang this!" Then I have to explain about what a "cover" is.

I think it's probably how my parents felt when I was insistent that Kylie Minogue invented the Loco-Motion.

What goes around comes around.

Q&A With Finn

Real questions Finn has asked me lately and my attempts to answer them (or not):

Q. Who was the first ever dog?
A. I have no idea.

Q. If there were only two shows to watch on TV, Chowder and the Mighty B, which one would you choose?
A. I'd throw a rock through the TV screen.

Q. Who invented bacon?
A. Francis Bacon.

Q. Why do we have to go to school?
A. Because I need a break during the day.

Q. Why do we have to do homework?
A. To keep you quiet after school and to make me realize I need a calculator to do second grade math.

Q. Why are your fingernails white on the end?
A. That's how they grow.

Q. Why don't I have white on the ends of my fingernails?
A. Because I cut them off to remove the dirt.

Q. Can I eat candy for breakfast.
A. Sure. Why not?

Q. Why can't I have a pet in my room?
A. Because it would get lost amongst all of the Legos.

Q. Can I be a Pokemon Legendary for Halloween next year?
A. I don't know what that is, but I'll get started on it right away.

Dude, Where's My Car?

We live about 100 yards from the boys' school. I love it that we never have to drive to school in the Morning Drop Off Melee. Instead, we walk over about 5 minutes before school starts. However, Finn, in particular, always asks to drive.

Yes, once again my hardy mountain children show their true colors.

Anyway, yesterday I did actually drive over to the school in the late morning. On Sunday, we had the biggest fundraiser of the year, Wild West Day, out at a local ranch. I had to return a tent and some other stuff to the office. The tent was a little too heavy to lug even 100 yards. Or maybe I'm just wimpy.

So I drove over, parked, dragged the tent and other stuff inside, and went to the lunchroom where I was having lunch with Finn (have I raved about how this year our school has 100% scratch-cooked lunches?) and then helping supervise kids composting their trash. And, as always happens, a teacher grabbed me and asked me to do something else and yadda yadda yadda, two hours later I was finally heading home.

I did some work, some laundry--the usual.

When it was time for school to be out, I walked to meet the boys. Homework was completed, snacks were eaten, and then it was time to go to Finn's gymnastics in the next town.

The boys went out to the garage ahead of me.

Boys: The car isn't in the garage.

Me: Oh hahaha, you guys, come on, get in, we don't want to be late.

Boys: Seriously, the car isn't in the garage.

Me: Look again. Maybe you just can't see it if the light didn't come on. It is black, afterall. (Yes, I really said that)

And then I paused. Did I park out front? No.

And then reality set in. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY! SOMEONE HAS STOLEN THE CAR!

And then I paused again. Why would someone steal a 1999 VW Passat Wagon with nearly 190,000 miles on it, rear speakers that don't work, electric locks that don't work, a paint job that has now suffered through four mountain winters and is covered with at least an inch of dust from being at a dude ranch the day before...and leave approximately $10,000 worth of bikes? (Yes, the bikes in our garage are collectively worth more than both of our vehicles combined)

It made no sense.

I was puzzled. What a stupid car thief.

And then I came to my senses and walked over to school for the third time that day.

PS: The saddest part about this story is that when I left school after lunch, I walked RIGHT PAST my dear, dusty car. Right past it. No clue. No clue at all.

Pink Eye. Awesome.

We almost made it, people. Almost. We almost made it to the end of the school year (June 3) with no one else coming down with some sort of contagion. And then I got a phone call last week that Declan's friend, who sits next to him in class, has pink eye.

I waited.

Declan never got it.

But Finn did.

From the kid who sits next to him.

Fortunately, I was ready with drops AND a homeopathic remedy. I was taking no chances.

Finn: Will I be going to school tomorrow?

Me: Yes.

Declan: Aren't you supposed to stay home when you get pink eye?

Me: Yes.

Finn: But I'm going to school?

Me: Yes.

Because seriously, it's the last few days of school. Clearly everyone else has had it and given it to my kids, yet again. And I am annoyed. In fact, when I went over to school to give Finn the drops this morning (you've got to hit them 6 times in the first 24 hours), the kid who sits next to Finn said, "Hey, I've got a pink eye, too!"

Yes, I know, I heard.

And then I lectured him about handwashing.

Because I'm fun like that.


***********
About the hair: I WILL post pictures, after Nick does his thing to it on June 7. I won't subject you to how I look on a daily basis--it's the "I just worked out and haven't had time to shower" look. No one needs to see that. Except the other parents picking up their kids after school.

St. Baldrick's Day--Part 3: The Pre-Shave

We already have bald people in this house and St. Baldrick's Day 2010 is still two days away.

Each year, our local St. Baldrick's volunteer committee works to do as much promotion of the event as possible. We can put free "ads" in the paper on a community page, we do news releases, and we've always tried to get on the local TV station, which didn't work until this year.

The local TV station is run by Vail Resorts and is kind of like when you go to a hotel and they always have a hotel channel. But the Vail channel is really much more broad and they do all sorts of interviews, cooking segments, they're out on the mountain, etc.

So they had requested that someone come on, talk about St. Baldrick's and pediatric cancer, and then shave heads in advance. Our volunteer leader, Cindy, asked if we would be willing to go on as a family, which of course, we were. I mean, I was willing to go at first, but as the day approached, I was regretting it. I hate being on TV. There's nothing like seeing yourself up close and personal and noticing all of your annoying mannerisms that the rest of the world is subjected to on a daily basis. But it was for a good cause and I didn't have to shave, so away we went.

First, we had to make preparations:






Eamonn sprayed Declan; Declan sprayed Eamonn. They're a good team that way. I can't stand the smell of that stuff.

I was a little worried because I realized if Eamonn and Declan were shaving on air and I was being interviewed while they were shaving, I wouldn't have any pictures of them being shaved. And that bummed me out because Declan always look so cute in the shaving process. Eamonn likes to get that old man/clown shave. It's slightly less cute, but extremely hilarious.

Enter Christine who always takes stellar St. Baldrick's pictures every year. She e-mailed me and said she would be at the TV station taking pictures. Thank you, Christine!

Here are Christine's pictures documenting our morning. It was us, the TV host, Tricia, and the two barbers, Angela and Sandy. Some of the pics are in black and white because Christine couldn't shoot with a flash so the pictures looked better in black and white.


Live from Vail, it's. . .US!


Jabbering and getting ready to shave. . .


Finn jumping around and waving at the camera. He kept looking at the monitor in the lobby. Come to think of it, so did I.


Why does he love this look so? He requests it every year!


Tricia interviews Declan mid-shave.


Eamonn getting the finishing touches.


Declan is almost finished! I want to break into singing "White Wedding" when I look at this.


Try not to be jealous, ladies!


The whole gang right after the broadcast.

But, I think what you're really waiting for is this: video footage! It's in three separate bits:







I actually have two copies of the broadcast--the YouTube ones here and then the version that was actually burned at the station from the live broadcast. Hilariously, when I watched that version, I realized that the TV8 logo was over my face the entire broadcast. It was see-thru, but yet there I was with a big 8 on my face. Nifty. On the DVD version, there's also a little piece that superimposes Declan's head back on the green screen and the weather guy is talking about Declan's hair and freckles. It's hilarious, but I can't figure out how to upload just that portion. Alas, it's a sad thing to be technologically inept.

So now, all that's left is the event itself on Saturday. It will be a long day, but a fun one, and so worth all of the effort. Thank you to everyone who has donated!

The Queen's English

Oh, hey. Look at that. I still have a blog. I just keep forgetting to post on it. I don't know what I've been doing. Um, maybe sitting in Denver's coldest ice rink ever watching hockey. Or having Facebook angst. Possibly both.

February is supposed to be a "lull" month for me--the calm between two magazines. It's not working out that way, much to my chagrin. I feel very unlulled and somewhat frantic.

So I'm trying to come up with something simple to blog about before I fall asleep while I'm typing.

When Eamonn's sister, Gerry, was here for the holidays, she gave me a deck of "knowledge" cards called The Queen's English. Labeled as "A smattering of seemingly nonsensical British words and phrases," the cards totally crack me up.

Because I am tired and lazy tonight, I'm picking out some of my fave words or phrases and posting them here. A few of these I already knew because Eamonn uses them. A few were new to me and just made me laugh.

Bollocks
Noun. Can also be used as an adjective and verb.

"You are talking complete bollocks!"

This word simply meant testicles until the mid-19th century. Since then, it has become a vulgarism for that part of the male anatomy, often used to mean rubbish or nonsense. Since the late 19th century, however, the word has been used generally as an exclamation, especially as a rejoinder (since 1969). It may occur as a verb, noun, or adjective, as in "I'll bollocks you good and proper"; "You've bollocksed that up"; or "That's a right old bollocky bollocks you've made of that!"

U.S. Translation
Bollocks! is a vulgar and ubiquitous as the U.S. bullshit, but unlike that expletive, has no refined variant such as bullshine or b.s.

Natalie's notes
Favorite line using this. In Bend it Like Beckham, Jess tells Jules that her parents won't allow her to continue to play on the football (soccer) team. Jules gets mad and shouts, "But that's bollocks!"

I kept thinking I'd heard bollocks in a song title. Sort of. Never Mind the Bollocks was the name of the Sex Pistols' one and only studio album in 1977. I was 10. I shouldn't have known of such things.

Finally, a funny story about another phrase, "The dog's bollocks," which means something is really great. One time we were sitting in a meeting with our financial planner and Eamonn used the phrase "the dog's bollocks." Our financial planner thought that was really great. At one point he said, "I can't wait to go and use that phrase down at the gym: the cat's buttocks." Here I was trying to be all serious and grown up, talking about our financial future and he comes out with the cat's buttocks. I laughed uncontrollably throughout the rest of the meeting. What a waste of time that meeting was. Except that it makes for a great story now.

Wonky
Adjective.

"It's gone all wonky."

Unstable, wobbly, crooked, off-center, out of kilter, not very well put together (early 20th century). This description can be applied to a person, but more usually pertains to an object, as in "I've just spilt my beer 'cos the table's all wonky." It may originate from the Old English wancol, of the same meaning, possibly via the 19th century printing term wankey, to straighten and level printers' type.

U.S. Translation
It's all cockeyed, catawampus, out of whack, etc.

Natalie's notes
Eamonn's sister, Karen, uses this phrase a lot. Makes me laugh. I mostly use it when I'm describing when I don't feel well because that's what Karen does. I think. "I'm feeling a bit wonky."


Barney
Noun.

"There's a right barney going on."

A noisy quarrel, a scuffle or slight fight, an argument, a rowdy party, or a crowd of people. The term derives from the proper name Barney, a contraction of Barnabus, common among 19th century Irish settlers and hence its association with the Irish and their stereotypical exuberant temperament. Barney is also used as an adjective meaning unfair or crooked, especially by prearrangement.

U.S. Translation
"There's a rumble brewing."

Natalie's notes
Again, something Karen says. "They were having a bit of a barney." Tee hee.

Belt up
Verb (intransitive--which I don't know what means in regular people's English, let alone the Queen's English--and me, a writer!)

"Oh for pity's sake, do belt up!"

To be quiet, especially when forced to do so; a request or command to cease talking. The phrase has numerous synonyms: shut up, shut your face, shut it, button it, cut your cackle, dry up, pipe down, and more recently, turn it up, leave it out, wrap up, etc.

U.S. Translation
"Can it! Give it a rest! Put a lid on it!"

Natalie's notes
I really like saying "Shut your cake hole!" instead. You can also substitute pie, as in, "Shut your pie hole!" for a little variety.

And my all-time favorite phrase, and it's not even in the deck of cards: Big girl's blouse. I can't even write it without laughing.

"Don't be such a big girl's blouse."

A weakling; an ineffectual person. The expression originated in the north of England in the 1960s and was popularized by northern-based televion programmes such as the sitcom Nearest and Dearest (1968-72), featuring Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel as brother and sister Nellie and Eli Pledge who inherit a pickle-bottling factory.


And now, after you read this, your assignment is to go out and use one of these phrases in your everyday life and report back here on what you said, how you used it, and how people responded. Eamonn used to do that to me when we first met. I'll never forget going into the office and using the term "kick up," as in a fuss was going to be made. "There's going to be a kick up if we don't get this pricing done by 3pm." People thought I was nuts.

And rightly so.

It's a Rocky Mountain Moms blog kind of day, so I'm over there. . .

Not Necessarily the News

It's a Rocky Mountain Moms blog day today so I'm over there!

Words That Bug Me

Last night I attended a presentation about the school district's gifted and talented program (don't you love it how I slip in wherever I can that one of my kids is gifted???). It was a 2 hour presentation that could have easily been a 1 hour presentation.

I was bored. I did consider leaving. I am, afterall, a grown up and I could have pretended I had somewhere else important to be. Like watching Biggest Loser. But I stayed (and I'm glad I did because some High Drama erupted--apparently people are very passionate about their gifted children, but that's a story for another time).

And then I started noticing how many times the presenters said the word "kiddo." Not kid, not child, not student, but kiddo. I find it a totally annoying word, especially since it was used so excessively during this presentation I was ready to stick a pencil in my eye.

So in true 7th grader fashion and just like I used to do when a really bad presenter would say "um" over and over again in a presentation and I would keep track, I started keeping track of how many times the presenters said kiddo. Keep in mind we were 20 minutes into the presentation before I started tracking, but the grand total was 17.

While I was sitting there apparently not paying attention to what was actually being said (I did take notes though), I started making a list of some of my pet peeve words. Most of these became annoying when I was in the corporate world and they were thrown about a conference room by people who thought they were important, but weren't.

A sampling:

Rubric
Actually, one of the presenters used this word last night. Seriously? Obviously, as the parent of a gifted student, I should know what this means. And I sort of do, but really, do we need to use Education Speak? Couldn't we just say "what they will be evaluated on?"

Craft
As in, "Let's craft a response to this crisis situation." You mean write? Develop? Craft? Come on. Craft is what my kids do on rainy days. Which, come to think of it, could be considered a crisis situation if it involves paint or glue.

Long pole in the tent
OK, I realize this is a phrase, not a word. The remainder are phrases, too. The vice president of marketing at a certain long distance company I used to work for loved this phrase. The fact that this guy was a totally incomptent idiot didn't help endear the phrase to me. According to some random Web site, “The long pole in the tent” is an expression used in military parlance to mean “the intractable part of a problem.” The editor of Aviation Week defines the term to be “the thing in a long list of tasks for a project that will… hold everything up” – in essence, the core of the problem. Again, why do we need this fancy phrase? Can't we just say, "The problem?"

Let's take this offline
Back in the days when the Internet was fairly new (you know, right after Al Gore invented it), this phrase was frequently heard being bandied about the conference table during meetings. Say an issue came up during the meeting and it needed to be addressed, but it didn't concern everyone at the meeting. It became a catchphrase to say, "Let's take this issue offline." What? For heaven's sake, can't you just say, "Let's talk about this later."? But this was the time when online and offline were new, cool words for the world and apparently we had to overuse them and sound like idiots.

One more and then I'll stop, because I could go on like this forever.

Get our arms around it
"We need to get our arms around the problem." Huh? Like you want to give the problem a big hug? Gag. I'm not a hugger. At least I wasn't until I met Eamonn's cousin, Theresa, and she hugs everyone all the time and it kind of rubbed off on me so I would describe myself as a semi-hugger now. But that's beside the point. The point is, why don't you just say, "We need to figure this problem out."?

No wonder they (and I'm referring to the mysterious "they" who is the expert in all matters of the world--when I quote something to Eamonn and use "they," he says, "Who is they?" And I wave my arm vaguely around and say, "You know, THEY.") say that English is the hardest language to learn. We're speaking in code.

Little Boys, Big Words

Finn: My uvula hurts. I can feel it moving.

Me: Your WHAT? (I asked, while racing to Wikipedia to find out what exactly a uvula is. I didn't know the male species even had a uvula.)

In the end, I didn't need to go to the Internet to confirm what a uvula is. Finn knew and told me.

It turns out your uvula is that dangly thing in the back of your throat. Uvula. I don't like the way it sounds. But I was feeling pretty smug that my 6-year old knows such body parts as uvula. What a Super Genius I have spawned. Impressive, I know.

So then I asked him how he knew what a uvula was and he tells me he heard it on a cartoon.

Excellent. Excellent. My Super Genius is learning biology from children's shows. I see no need for school after this.

Oxymorons

From Wikipedia: An oxymoron (plural oxymorons or, more rarely, oxymora) is a figure of speech that combines two normally contradictory terms. Oxymoron is a loanword from Greek oxy ("sharp" or "pointed") and moros ("dull"). Thus the word oxymoron is itself an oxymoron.

I remember the first time I heard about oxymorons. I thought they were so funny:

Military intelligence
Deafening silence
Icy hot
Same difference
Controlled Chaos
Nondairy creamer
Organized mess
Ill health
Jumbo Shrimp

This school year, I became aware of what I have decided is a new oxymoron: Sunshine Math.

Sunshine Math is an extra credit math curriculum that the kids bring home once a week. They don't actually get credit in their class for completing the weekly work. Instead, if they correctly complete a certain number of the Sunshine Math problems, they get rewards like a pizza party or some other chemical-ly, junk-y food that will send them into spasmodic fits so that we can't actually get them to concentrate and complete the next round of Sunshine Math. But I digress.

I may be alone in this, but I find nothing sunshine-y about math. In fact, it makes me feel distinctly cloudy or overcast when I open the kids' Monday folders and find the offending lesson for the week.

I probably get grumpy when the Sunshine Math turns up because it is so challenging that I can't even do it. Actually, I can complete the kindergarten level, but the third grade? Not even close.

Sad, I know.
Sunshine Math quickly became Eamonn's personal realm because it was clear I was in way over my head and apparently I was making comments like, "I would rather put a sharp stick in my eye," rather than help the boys with their Sunshine Math.

Now I longer break into a cold sweat, my mental health has returned, and I'm glad I don't have to do my least favorite thing anymore.

I Want My MP3

Recall that Finn was given an iPod Shuffle from Make-A-Wish the night before we left on our trip to NYC. He also received an iTunes giftcard (which I couldn't get to work--angst). Then an anonymous benefactor decided Declan needed his own iPod Shuffle and it arrived last week (thank you, anonymous benefactor).

But even up until Declan received his own iPod, the boys have been after me for weeks to download songs and load Finn's iPod. Well, Christmas came and went and I still hadn't done it. I promised today would be the day.

First, the giftcard wouldn't work, which caused much wailing and gnashing of teeth, but we loaded some of our own CDs onto the computer and soon the iPods were sync'ed and the boys were jamming. I have spent most of the day listening to them singing different songs at the same time. Comical, and yet slightly grating all at the same time.

When they weren't singing, they were telling each other: "Dude, you've got to hear this song (even though with the exception of some Thomas the Tank Engine songs on Finn's iPod, their playlists are the same).

They were so enamored of the iPods, I couldn't get them off their heads.

Hence:



Oh yes, my children are watching TV and listening to their iPods at the same time. Digital overload anyone?

They wanted to sleep in the iPods, but I explained that they could strangle themselves with the headphones in their sleep. Because, you know, I'm a ray of sunshine like that. I think I just heard the theme music for Debbie Downer playing in my head.

When You Wish Upon a Star. . .

Guess where we're going next week?

I've been dying to tell you this for ages, but as of today, I have the information and itinerary, and it's official: We're off to New York City next week for Finn's Make A Wish trip! ACK! I'm not sure who is more excited--Finn or me?

So here's the backstory on how Finn came to choose NYC for his wish trip. . .

During the steroid pulse of Finn's chemo (5 days every four weeks), he would become so incredibly irritable, his legs would ache, he would drink alarming amounts of fluids, and eat processed foods with wild abandon. It sucked. Probably more for him than for me, I'd wager. During those 5 days each month, he'd like on the couch, eating and drinking. . .and watching movies (come to think of it, there are 5 days each month I'd like to spend doing the very same).

Anyway, much to my dismay, he typically wanted to watch the same movie over and over and over again until I wanted to gouge my eyes out with a sharp stick just so I wouldn't have to hear the same dialogue over and over and over. . .you get the picture. But we pretty much let him watch whatever he wanted because let's face it, he felt pretty shitty. And I don't mean to be crass here, but there's just no other way to describe it.

Two years ago Finn got hooked on Home Alone. Just ask my mother. We had just moved and I recall her sitting on the couch with Finn, rubbing his legs all day, and watching Home Alone three consecutive times. Appalling to me, but then again, Grandmas are good at that sort of thing.

After Finn had memorized the lines from Home Alone, he started asking if there was a Home Alone 2. There was, but I had never seen it. I was a fan of the original, which Andrea and I went to see and laughed until our sides were sore--especially when the iron falls on Daniel Stern--and I had no intention of tainting my memories of the first movie with a sub-par sequel. But then I looked at my poor steroidal child on the couch and got the sequel from the library: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.

And the rest, as they say, is history.

Since that fateful viewing of the movie two years ago, Finn has been determined to get to New York City. We thought it was a phase that would wear off. It didn't. At the park we played Home Alone 2. I always had to be the burglar and Finn always outsmarted me. At home he set up elaborate booby traps. I never knew when I was about to be decapitated by a strategically placed string or when I might find myself stuck in the bathroom with the door tied shut. Oh yes, he was hooked.

Last winter when we started the wish process, we told Finn there was this organization called Make A Wish and he could do anything he wanted. For awhile we wondered if he'd choose NYC, but he'd also asked if we would ever go to Disney. So we weren't really sure what's he'd come up with. We shouldn't have wondered. From the first words, "You can do anything you want to do. . ." It was New York City. Really? You don't want to do something like. . .Nope. New York City. And he has never wavered once.

Immediately we had to watch the movie again, but this time was different. I sat next to him, pen and paper in hand, and he directed me to take notes. When he saw "Kevin" do something in the movie that he himself wanted to do, he instructed me to write it down. We did this about five different times. The list was always the same:

1. Stay at the Plaza Hotel
2. Go ice skating and eat chicken soup afterwards (Kevin doesn't actually eat soup in the movie. I think Finn added this in because he loves chicken soup.)
3. Go to the Empire State Building
4. Go to the Statue of Libery
5. Ride in a limo and eat cheese pizza
6. Go to the toy store (we had to explain the the toy store in the movie was a pretend store, but there was a different toy store we could visit)
7. Go for a carriage ride in Central Park (Kevin actually hides in the back of a carriage when he's escaping from the burglars. We emphasized that burglars would not be chasing us.)

So today our itinerary arrived and may I just say that Make A Wish is just, like, WOW. I don't even know how to put into words the effort they have put into making Finn's wish a reality.

We fly from Denver on Wednesday, but we'll go to Denver Monday night because Make A Wish has asked if Finn can do a radio interview on Tuesday morning! Good grief--fortunately it's not a live interview so they can edit out any wild, random comments he might make on the air! His segment will be taped and will air on KOOL 105 some time between 6am and 10am on 12/15. Make A Wish Colorado is having a big fundraising drive that day. And, we may end up being on again that day for a post trip report--I'm not really sure. We'll see how it all pans out.

But Make A Wish is putting us up in a hotel for Monday and Tuesday night and then taking us to the airport via limo. The boys don't know about that so it will be a fun surprise.

Here's a rough outline of the trip:

Wednesday
-Fly to NYC
-Stay at the Plaza Hotel (yes, we're staying at the Plaza for one night!)
-We'll probably spend the rest of the day exploring around the hotel and area nearby. Personally, I don't think I'll ever want to leave the Plaza. They'll probably have to call armed guards to pull me out the next day.

Thursday
-Move to a new hotel (boo hoo). I guess it's OK if the Plaza wants to actually have paying customers come in.
-Another limo will take us from the Plaza to the new hotel. The boys are going to be in for a cold, hard dose of reality when we return home and our limo transforms back into a 1999 dirt-covered VW wagon with 160,000 miles on it. Like Cinderella returning home from the ball. . .only replace the glass slipper with a snow clog and it will be a little more realistic.
-Actually, we won't go directly from the Plaza to the new hotel. We will be going to a famous pizza shop and picking up pizza that we will eat while we drive around town (does one really drive around NYC in all that traffic? Heck, who cares! We're eating PIZZA in a LIMO in NYC! I don't care if we just sit there!)
-The limo will take us to FAO Schwarz where my children, who have become small town boys, will be so overwhelmed by all that they see they will have seizures on the top floor of the store.
-Later that day it's on to the Empire State Building! I'm going to have to watch An Affair to Remember and Sleepless in Seattle this weekend.

Friday
-Now, brace yourselves everyone. If you can, tune in to the Today Show on Friday, Dec. 12. It is our intent to get our bodies down there bright and early and find a spot on the railing to hang a banner that a local sign company graciously donated to say THANK YOU to Make A Wish. I hope it works because they have made this trip possible. Good grief, someone please TiVO it for me.
-On Friday we'll also be skating at Rockefeller Center (and I guess eating soup afterwards) and enjoying the giant Christmas tree.


Our schedule is crazy full, but I also hope we can get to Macy's and see Santaland and also the decorated windows there and at other stores. I used to love looking at the decorated windows at Lazarus Downtown. Ah, those were the days.

Saturday
-We're scheduled to go to the Statue of Liberty.

Sunday
-Heading back to Denver

Monday
-Drive home from Denver

Wardrobe issues are causing me angst. We're going to one of the most cosmopolitan cities in the world and I will be wearing. . .corduroys, fleece and snow clogs. My style is distinctly, um, mountain. Make that Stay At Home Mom Mountain. I'm sure I'll fit right in.

So there you have it: Finn's wish come true!

What's the Weather?

I have watched this about 10 times and it alternately tugs on my heart and makes me laugh.

Then I think about how he mooned his class last week (true story). And then I feel like I need to lie down with a wet cloth over my eyes.



PS--Andy, I got your comment right when YouTube finally finished uploading. I'll know next time. Thanks!

New Baby Alert!

No, not me. Thank goodness. Had I mentioned that my little sister was pregnant with her FIFTH baby? I know, I don't know how it is that we're related either.

Anyway, Caroline Lenore Myers joined our clan last night at about 10pm MST making a grand total of 8 grandkids for my parents now. I am Aunt Bobo for the 6th time!


Introducing Caroline Lenore!




Mom and Erin with Caroline. I need to note here that these pictures are courtesy of Erin's friend Laurie. Thank you, Laurie, for the pictures! Ashley and Laurie were both present for the birth! I say way to go, girls. I tend to not have a stomach for such things like, you know, birth.

Have I ever mentioned why all my nieces and nephews call me Aunt Bobo? It started back when Garvin wasn't even a year old--he's 10 now! I had this outfit that I LOVED. Remember those one piece romper-style thingys that had the big wide legs? It looked like you were wearing a big long dress until you moved and then people realized you were actually wearing pants. I can still picture it. Oh, how I loved that outfit. Such '90s fashion.

Eamonn, on the other hand, hated it. He called it The Clown Suit.

One time when Tara and Garvin were visiting Ohio, we were all at my Mom's. I recall sitting around on the floor and playing with Garvin and trying to get him to say "Natalie." I must have been wearing The Clown Suit, because Eamonn said, "He might as well call you Bobo the Clown. You've already got the outfit and the crazy hair, all you need are the floppy shoes and big red nose! Say it, Garvin! Bobo!" And say it Garvin did. From that day forward, I have been Aunt Bobo. I'm not sure any of the nieces and nephews know I have a real name.

So whatever happened to The Clown Suit? Alas, it's gone, probably a rag for some auto mechanic somewhere by this point. Or if I think happier thoughts, maybe someone with great taste found it at the thrift store and is wearing it while panhandling on the streets of Columbus this very second.

The Historian

We've been reading the Mrs. Piggle Wiggle books which were favorites of mine "when I was a girl." When we read together, we always check to see when books were written.

Me: "Oh my gosh! This book was written back when Grandma was a girl!"

Declan: "So when was that?"

Me: "It was in the 40s."

Declan: "So Grandma was born in 18. . ."

Me: "Nineteen! Grandma was born in the 19s!"

Hysterical laughter from all parties in the room.

The Pharmacist

Finn: I think I need to take Ambien CR.

Me: Really? Why?

Finn: Because there are two layers. The first layer helps you fall asleep. The second helps you stay asleep. What do you think?

Me: I think you've taken enough medication to last you a lifetime. I also think you're watching too much TV.