Wow, did anyone notice that I posted on April 7, but didn't even remember that it was Finn's diagnosis date? That's whacked, man. I had thought about it last week, and then it sort of came and went with no apparent angst from me. In fact, I was skiing and didn't think about it all day. Four years and six states ago. We've traveled a lot of ground since then--literally and figuratively.
What's on my mind these days is that Finn's port removal surgery is scheduled for a week from tomorrow (Friday). Next Thursday he'll have his last IViG infusion and then on Friday they'll take the port out and do a final bone marrow aspirate.
I'm not really sure how to feel about the port going away. It's the end, of course, of something that began almost exactly four years ago. It's the end of worrying when he gets a fever. It's the end of EMLA and Tegaderm. It's the end of a foreign body in his body. It's the end of a very long chapter.
But because I am a worrier and tend to focus on the negative instead of the positive, I am having total anxiety over the surgery. Of course, any parent would feel this way so it's not like I'm unique in that regard. The problem is, I keep dwelling on a little boy who died right after Finn was diagnosed. He died when he threw a clot after his port removal surgery. And that is what is freaking me out. I know it's routine, but I have to tell you, I have really, really worked myself into a state about the surgery. Apparently though, I'm not in enough of a state to not eat a dozen cookies today. I don't know what kind of situation I'd have to be in before that happened. Meteor hitting the Earth maybe?
So if you've got a spare minute or so over the coming week, if you could send a prayer, a good thought, a smoke signal, or whatever it is you do in your corner of the world, for Finn, I'd appreciate it. It always makes me feel a little better when I know you're out there with us.
Speaking of which, I thought no one loved me anymore because I didn't get any comments on my Poop Post. I figured I'd finally gone too far in my discussions. Because let's face it, do people really want to talk about poop? BUT, you were actually posting comments and my ISP was putting them all in my spam folder! So when I finally found all of the comments, from various postings, I realized people have actually been posting questions. So my next post will be a Q&A on all of your questions. At least I'll try to answer them. In between mouthfuls of cookie.