Thursday, October 29, 2009

Baking & Talking: A Cautionary Tale

On Wednesday, my first post appeared on Rocky Mountain Moms Blog. I wrote about making Finn's birthday cake last week. It was somewhat of a fiasco.

It wasn't always this way. I used to be a great baker when we lived in Ohio. I blame my problems on the altitude here.

But, apparently there's one thing I can't blame the altitude on: my inability to talk--to anyone--while I'm trying to do anything in the kitchen, regardless of what state I'm in.

My cooking history is littered with disasters that were a result of attempting to talk and cook at the same time.

I can walk and chew gum at the same time, in case you're wondering.

Notable cooking/talking fiascos:
-Baking ginger cookies for a United Way silent auction while talking on the phone. I forgot to add the baking soda. Do you know what happens to baked goods when you forget the baking soda? Hockey pucks. Eamonn insisted that I not throw the pucks away--he was sure he could eat them. After nearly breaking a tooth, he admitted defeat.

-Baking Christmas cookies two years ago while talking on the phone. I was making Russian Teacakes and doubling the recipe. Except that I doubled everything but the flour. The cookie sheet was basically just one giant cookie.

-Christmas 2008, baking with mom and Tara and trying to talk/socialize at the same time. I was mixing up the Norweigan Holiday Cookies. I lost track of how many teaspoons of salt I put in. You had to eat those cookies with a big glass of water. In my defense, last year my mom was so busy jabbering she tried to chop nuts in the food processor without the blade. She kept telling me my Cuisinart was broken. It wasn't. Pilot error.

-Pot roast circa 1988. I was living in Florida and was talking to friends while putting a pot roast in the oven. The result? Shoe leather for dinner.

-Since Facebook came into my life, I was burned numerous batches of cookies while stepping away to check e-mail or Facebook, "just for a second." That's the 21st century version of talking while cooking.

-And finally, today, I burned, yes burned, Rice Krispie treats while trying to help Finn with homework (damn that Sunshine Math).

I'm not exactly sure how you burn Rice Krispie treats, but there you have it. What could be next? Burning boiling water? Oh wait, I did that once and ruined a pan.

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