I know. I am a lame blogger. Not lame as in limping or wounded, like lame as in weak. What a good 90s word.
At any rate, I just submitted all of my articles to a client for the next edition of their magazine and now I'm free. Sort of. I was just a few (6) days late. Makes you want to hire me doesn't it? But all that aside, I was finally able to upload pictures from our trip to Ohio/Michigan/Niagara Falls in August and then a few more from our activities this fall so far. My goal is to have them up tomorrow. Or, if I feel crazy, tonight. But right now I don't feel too crazy.
As an update on what's happening with Finn. . .same old, same old. We're meeting with the teacher tomorrow to go over some ideas, but the situation remains stressful for everyone. By reading between the lines with Finn, because you know how it is with kids--you're never quite sure what the heck they're saying--he doesn't like school because he's away from me and he's there for so long. On the surface, it's separation anxiety. But why? Why after a successful year last year is this happening? Yes, it's every day, but how did we go from Finn being with me 24/7 during treatment and then to preschool 3 days a week with no problems to where we are now? No, something else is at play here.
Our interpretation is that it's a combination of things. Eamonn and I feel we're seeing the result of spending four of your five years of life in a medical setting instead of with kids your age cropping up (socialization and coping skills), his sensory issues, and a teacher who is struggling to find his own way in the world. I could tell you a few stories that would curl your hair about how Finn receives multiple timeouts a week--where he is removed from the group and has to sit facing the wall. Or when the teacher took away a reward sticker Finn received from the doctor and threw it in the trash. Yep. All true. And out of the mouths of babes. When Declan heard about the sticker incident, he said, "Who does that to a little kid?" Our thoughts exactly. Yes Finn was probably playing with the sticker after being told not to. But wouldn't you take the sticker, put it on a piece of paper and give it back after class? Why would you throw something away that a child received as a reward from SOMEONE ELSE unless you had no common sense or are just a jackass?
From what we can deduce (yes, we moonlight as Nancy Drew and Frank Hardy), Finn doesn't feel successful at school. Who would with what's happening? He feels like nothing he does is right and instead of someone modeling the right behavior, he's just being punished for the "wrong" behavior. I'm not excusing Finn. I'm certain that he does speak out of turn and has trouble keeping his hands to himself. But despite our best efforts here at home, we need to feel like the classroom is a supportive, caring place. And it's not. Finn's anxiety tells us this without a doubt. What 5 year old wakes up at 5am and says he doesn't want to go to school because there's no one to look after him there? A 5 year old who is lacking whose confidence is shot and doesn't feel safe, that's who. If this was high school, I'd tell him to suck it up because we all have to learn to deal with people and teachers we don't see eye-to-eye with. But this is kindergarten--the year that sets the tone for your life in school! I don't know about you, but I remember kindergarten! I remember every year of elementary school and how much I loved it. Middle school? Not so much. But elementary school? It shouldn't be this hard for a kid.
So today I let the principal know that we will be meeting with the teacher tomorrow, but we are discouraged and frustrated. She asked if we felt the teacher wasn't a good fit for Finn. Um. Bloody freaking right. So now it's out there that our intent is to move Finn, sooner rather than later. It's actually is a relief that she knows this.
I'm getting gray hair.