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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Brain Crack

One of my dirty little secrets is that I read People magazine. I know, I know. Appalling. My brother-in-law says it's like crack for your brain. (Note: But I think when I take the back issues to my sister, he reads them). And I have to confess, I love that crack and I can't stop reading it. I'm addicted.

People is supposed to arrive on Fridays. But it rarely does out here because we apparently still use the Pony Express several days a week. Often it doesn't arrive until Saturday. In a worst case scenario, it doesn't arrive until Monday. That makes me very, very cranky. But when it does arrive on a Friday, I feel giddy with excitement. I'm shallow that way. I need my People fix.

In fact I get a little obsessive about it. Eamonn loves to recount this story: Years ago People arrived and I was saving it to read in bed. At bedtime, I set it carefully on the bed while I went to brush my teeth and wash my face. When I returned, Eamonn was reading People and would not surrender it. I started crying. I'm guessing I had severe PMS at the time. At least I hope that's what it was.

Where would I be without People? I wouldn't know anything about pop culture anymore, and we all know how important that is. I wouldn't know what the cast of Gossip Girl is up to. I've never watched the show, but no matter. I wouldn't know why Guy and Madonna got divorced or that Brad and Angelina are planning to adopt again, or any of the innermost secrets that Hollywood's denizens have revealed about them from "a source close to the star."

I rationalize this guilty pleasure by telling myself that I have to read so much accounting and auditing information for clients that I DESERVE to know who admits to having plastic surgery and who is just genetically better off than the rest of us. And I ponder the accuracy of what I read. I ask my friend who's an actor in LA if this stuff is true. She laughs and says, "I'm reading the same tabs you are! But it does seem like everything always ends up being true in the end."

Must run. I need to go and read the truth about Tom Cruise's family. I can't go to sleep until I know.

7 comments:

Kristie said...

Well, I, too, love People magazine. I get them hand-me-down from my sister and I was disappointed when she told me she wouldn't be renewing her subscription this year. I quit buying them for myself when I caught Brayden, a few years ago, cutting out the pictures of all the skinny, skanky women in revealing dresses and gluing them in a notebook ----- um, can you say "self esteem issues" ????

So now, I sneak my sister's old copies and read them then quickly put them in the trash before Brayden can see them. I do hate that they waste an entire page on that stupid "what's different with these two pictures?" game. I would much rather have that page devoted to hairstyles of the rich and famous, or news about celebrity babies. :)

Anonymous said...

Yes, if the People mag is not in my mailbox on Friday afternoon it tends to start my weekend off on a bad note. Once in a great while, I will get a lovely surprise and it arrives on Thursday! My husband enjoys it as much as I do and we tend to fight over who gets to do the crossword puzzle... it's one that I can actually finish!!

Wendy
Freezing Cold in MI

Leeann said...

Love, Love, LOVE People magazine!! I have been a subscriber since college and I CLEARLY remember reading my parents' copies of People when I was a kid. Brain candy or not, I read it cover to cover. Rob used to mock me about it until I pointed out that EVERY week, he reads it. Or at least looks at the pictures. Now Kate and Chris read it too. Luckily, I haven't had the issues that Kristie has had. Kate is such a non-conformist (almost to the extreme. she needs to conform a little!) and thinks that skinny actresses are vapid airheads. lol But they have certainly learned all about teen pregnancy and not being married to be pregnant and this spouse killing that one and this mother killing that kid. Not great, those parts, but we just talk them through.

Every now and again, I will even get my People on Thursday! But I agree- my Friday is defined by the arrival of People magazine. Love it!

jean said...

Okay, maybe you shouldn't get a Facebook page - don't know that you'll have time to do that AND keep up on your "People" addiction. It would be bad to have two addictions and have to decide between the two... :-)

Beth said...

The only time I get to read People is when we go to the beach and some previous guest in the house has left a magazine or two! I love it! But I try to use self-control and never buy it myself. I know I'd be hooked!

The disadvantage is that when I do get to read it I have never heard of 85% of the People they write about!

Shauna said...

I once woke up my husband at 2 a.m. because I was pregnant and could not sleep and my US Magazine was out in the car (in the rain) and cried until he went out to get it for me. And I am still married....good man. It really is an addiction. Now with 4 kids, I think I would like a book club that read US or People, I might actually have something to contribute then.

Anonymous said...

If you like People magazine you should try Vanity Fair... but only if you are not a Republican. I love the mix of intellignet articles and rich people gossip