Sunday, February 1, 2009

What Does Wii Know Anyway?

I think I mentioned that Santa brought a Wii for Christmas. Let's be frank: I suck at it. Like really suckety suck suck suck. Except for boxing, which is probably disturbing. Yesterday, Finn destroyed me by, like, 20 pins in bowling. And then crushed me at golf. Tennis? I've never made contact with the ball yet. It's so humbling to be beat by a 6-year-old.

I was trying to coach Finn in bowling because he has a rather unorthodox throw. Let's just say if we were really in a bowling alley, whoever is sitting behind him would be in serious jeopardy of losing their head. That's when I realized he was beating me and that I'd better start emulating his wild throwing. I did and got my first strike. Apparently you don't actually take the proper sports stance with the Wii. Flailing around wildly seems to bring better results.

We don't have the Wii Fit, but there is some sort of tool/demeaning torture device on the basic Wii Sports that lets you test your fitness level. The boys have been taking the "test" for fun to see how old the Wii says they are. I think it mostly gauges how fast your reaction time is and stuff. So I thought I'd take a stab at it. I actually connected with the tennis balls. I hit three homeruns. I thought I was going to get a Wii age of about 25. I was psyched.

The result? Apparently I'm 59.

I hate the Wii. I'm sending it back to Santa. Either that or I'm going to play the Wii all day tomorrow so I can beat the kids at everything by the time they get home after school. Not that I'm competitive or anything.


Liz said...

I have the Wii Fit and love it. But the age thing is bogus. With the Fit, it's based on how you do with 2 balance tests. I've been 51 one day and 23 the next. It's silly, really.

And I can't hit that damn tennis ball either. Talk about demeaning- my 3 year old plays better than me!

Kristie said...

See, you'd have been better off not getting off the sofa, and just reading the People magazines all weekend. :)

Mom on the Run said...

Don't worry...my fit age on wii sports...72. I'm not 72. I was terrible at baseball, and only slightly better at tennis. Now if the fit test was on eating or lazing around I would be a 21.

Mamasita said...

Okay, now have you purposely thrown the ball backwards in the bowling? It goes into the crowd of people behind you - they scream and flail. We spend almost as much time doing that as we do the actual bowling.

I believe the Wii should have a warning as to the many dangers involved:

I have actually thrown my back out on the baseball.

My husband had decked my youngest in the face several times during the bowling.

I have wholeheartedly believed that I was having a coronary during the boxing. And that was just the warm up part.

I have fallen off of the Wii balance board. More than once.

Oh, and just a heads up. The Wii Fit is disconcerting on a different level. You tell the Wii how tall you are, and then when you stand on the balance board, it weighs you. THEN, it has the nerve to adjust your Mii to those height and weight dimensions. How rude! If I would have wanted my Mii to look that way, I would have created it much shorter and um, stockier, on my own. I think I need to tell ours that I grew about 3 inches.

jean said...

I am laughing! But perhaps I shouldn't, b/c I've never tried my hand at the Wii. I'm going to visit Tom & Suze next weekend if the weather holds up, so maybe I'll give it a whirl & report back. You didn't tell your sisters about this, did you? Because you know they'd be laughing right along with me... :-)

Mom2Toribug said...

The Wii is definitely not the same as playing the sport in real life. Actually, I think I am better at the Wii than I am in real "sports". Is bowling a sport?

Beth said...

Send my Wii back too--I always get clobbered by Hannah. I did actually tie her in Golf, but fuggedaboudit with everything else. I am too scared to even try to find that age thingy!

Jordyn said...

I feel your pain!! I don't need a machine to tell me I'm fat and out of shape...already know that.

My husband practices at lunch while the kids are at school just so he can beat them at bowling!!

The good thing about the Wii...we play as a family and have a blast (even though I suck)

Anonymous said...

59 ain't all that bad! Trust me! mh