Just in case you think I'm a 100 percent clean eating saint, rest assured, I am not. For Finn's birthday a few weeks ago, I bought Pillsbury's Grands Cinnabon rolls. Because apparently I'm too lazy to get up on a school morning (or any morning for that matter) and make cinnamon rolls from scratch. Yes, I am a mostly scratch cook, but I've never made cinnamon rolls for reals. Maybe one day I'll do that.
Maybe. It looks hard and I'm not about hard.
Anyway, I bought the JUMBO pack at Costco and they've been taking up valuable space in my fridge, space that should probably be used for things like kale and swiss chard, and I needed to do some cleaning out. Hence, the Grands this morning.
Feeling very domestic, I pulled the tube out of the fridge, peeled off the label, opened the tube open by pressing the spoon at the seam as instructed (this part always scares me--I can't stand the big POP, but then again, I used to get scared during Fantasy Island and cover my eyes while my cousin Laura laughed at me), and lovingly placed the pre-rolled rolls in the pan.
I put them in the oven.
Then, as I often do, I stood there and read the ingredients while the rolls baked. Sometimes I remember to read the ingredients before I buy things. Often, I forget and read them after the fact (remember the Corn Flakes...) and have buyer's remorse (but truly, what was I expecting from a package of pre-made cinnamon rolls?). Anyway, I was taken aback at the ingredient list. Not only artificial flavors and preservatives, but also artificial colors. Why would you artificially color a baked good that...doesn't have any color?
I remain mystified.
I did not eat one. I let my husband and children fill themselves with fake food. As I reflect upon my actions, I realize this is probably why Declan is behaving like a pill this afternoon. Fake food does that to him.
I did make them all a huge juice smoothie drink to have with it.
I'm going to pretend it counteracted all of the ingredients in the rolls.
Because I'm totally sure it really works that way. And I've still got one tube to go and I need to rationalize eating it instead of throwing it away.