Sunday, November 7, 2010

I Fed My Kids Polysorbate 80 for Breakfast

Just in case you think I'm a 100 percent clean eating saint, rest assured, I am not. For Finn's birthday a few weeks ago, I bought Pillsbury's Grands Cinnabon rolls. Because apparently I'm too lazy to get up on a school morning (or any morning for that matter) and make cinnamon rolls from scratch. Yes, I am a mostly scratch cook, but I've never made cinnamon rolls for reals. Maybe one day I'll do that.

Maybe. It looks hard and I'm not about hard.

Anyway, I bought the JUMBO pack at Costco and they've been taking up valuable space in my fridge, space that should probably be used for things like kale and swiss chard, and I needed to do some cleaning out. Hence, the Grands this morning.

Feeling very domestic, I pulled the tube out of the fridge, peeled off the label, opened the tube open by pressing the spoon at the seam as instructed (this part always scares me--I can't stand the big POP, but then again, I used to get scared during Fantasy Island and cover my eyes while my cousin Laura laughed at me), and lovingly placed the pre-rolled rolls in the pan.

I put them in the oven.

Then, as I often do, I stood there and read the ingredients while the rolls baked. Sometimes I remember to read the ingredients before I buy things. Often, I forget and read them after the fact (remember the Corn Flakes...) and have buyer's remorse (but truly, what was I expecting from a package of pre-made cinnamon rolls?). Anyway, I was taken aback at the ingredient list. Not only artificial flavors and preservatives, but also artificial colors. Why would you artificially color a baked good that...doesn't have any color?

I remain mystified.

I did not eat one. I let my husband and children fill themselves with fake food. As I reflect upon my actions, I realize this is probably why Declan is behaving like a pill this afternoon. Fake food does that to him.

I did make them all a huge juice smoothie drink to have with it.

I'm going to pretend it counteracted all of the ingredients in the rolls.

Because I'm totally sure it really works that way. And I've still got one tube to go and I need to rationalize eating it instead of throwing it away.


Marci said...

ok those rolls costs about 5 bucks a tube down here. and when we find them in the store, we usually buy about 3 tubes. then go home, crack them open (with the POP) and eat all of them! Me--I usually have three....

Anonymous said...

I have a wonderful single rise carmel cinnamon roll recipe I have been making for years. If you have a Kitchen Aid stand mixer it does everything for you, but roll out the dough and slice it. I will email you the recipe, once I find it. So much better than those cardboard tasting rolls from a can!

Postcard Cindy

jean said...

Do you have any neighborhood or school functions coming up? You could bake them for that instead of eating them at home...

Leeann said...

I'm doing something similar and having all kinds of guilt about it-

I usually buy Midnight Moo at Trader Joe's b/c I send the kids to school with chocolate milk in thermoses sometimes (organic milk- stainless steel thermoses..) but I ran out of MM and my kids found an unused bottle of Hershey's choc syrup in the pantry. First ingredient: cocoa. Second: HFCS.

UGH. I've been using it sparingly but once I buy some new MM, that is hitting the trash (well, the recycling!)

Rita said...

Here in the South, we call those "Womp Biscuits" because you have to "womp" them on the kitchen counter to make them pop open.

Just thought you might need some useless Southern Biscuit Trivia.

So, there you are. You're welcome : )