Wednesday, September 17, 2008

A Quick Update

I feel like I should post a live blog. It would look something like this:

7:50am--Walked the boys to school. Declan is loving school and skipped ahead with a friend. Finn walked next to me dragging his Finn and lamenting how much he hates school.

7:55am--We discuss the merits of going to the toy store right after school--IMMEDIATELY after school--to get Pokemon cards and Finn rallies a little.

8:00am--He walks into school. Tears are there, but they are not falling. A step in the right direction. I hear a hysterical, "BYE, MOM!" as he disappears into the building. He is "armed" with a kissing hand in one pocket, a picture of all of us in the other. Baboo and his favorite train are in his backpack. In his lunch I put a special note and another picture of us.

8:05am--I wait outside for a few minutes until I'm sure he's in his classroom and won't see me. Then I head to the library because I help shelve books on Wednesday morning.

8:20am--I peer out to make sure Finn won't see when I get ready to leave. Instead, I see Declan who waves excitedly and then goes into the computer lab, happy as a clam.

8:25am--I'm leaving, but I can't resist. I ask one of the aides to go to Finn's class and see what's what. She readily agrees--she's cool like that.

8:27am--She returns and lets me know that the class is having circle time. Finn is in the circle and is raising his hand. No sign of tears.

8:30am--I return home. I pace around. I wash the breakfast dishes--practically a first this week that it hasn't had to wait until the end of the day because of all of the craziness around here. I still feel restless. I can't work. I surf the Internet and finally do some exercise. My work deadlines are looming. And yet, I do nothing.

In 7 minutes, Finn will in the lunchroom. I have several loving teachers and aides lined up on "Finn duty" so that we can see how he will do. I feel anxious for Finn because of the stress he may be feeling. I feel anxious for me because if this doesn't work, I know I will be embarking on a course of action that the school does not support or approve of and I may potentially be damaging my relationship with them. I am anxious, but I know I will do it. That makes me more anxious. I hate anxiety.

I'll let you know what happens. Hopefully I won't be blogging right after school and instead I'll be at the toy store.


On another note, please pray for our dear friends the Escoes--Kristie, Blaine, Brayden, Kellen and Kendrie. Read Kristie's latest post for more information.


Leeann said...

I hope all continues to go well for poor Finn. God knows the kid really is trying. Bless his little heart.

And Natalie, my heart really, really does go out to you. I know what you mean when you say you are pacing around, unable to focus on anything.

Hugs to you, my dear friend.

ps- and re:Blaine... join me in a rousing chorus of LIFE IS SO NOT FREAKING FAIR.

Anonymous said...

Hi! I read often but with school starting, I am just now catching up with your family. Poor Finn! I am sorry kindergarten has been such an unfortuante experience. It's good to know it is getting better in baby steps. I am also glad to know you have the support/experience of your mom and sister. I teach also and am mentoring a first year male kindergarten teacher. Not an easy job! Good for you for continuing to use those advocate skills! I hope things continue to improve. Good luck.
Christa Frantz in Ohio